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August 24, 2011

Gonzo Town

"Recyc'lin? We didn't have the green thing when I was grow'in up". (PHOTO:

In the line at the store, the cashier told an older woman that she should  bring her own grocery bags because plastic bags weren’t good for the  environment…
The woman apologized to him and explained, “We didn’t have the green thing  back in my day.” The clerk responded, ” That’s our problem today. Your generation did not  care enough to save our environment.”
He was right — our generation didn’t have the green thing in its day…
Back then, we returned milk bottles, soda bottles and beer bottles to the  store. The store sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilized and  refilled, so it could use the same bottles over and over. So they really  were recycled.
But we didn’t have the green thing back in our day.
We walked up stairs, because we didn’t have an escalator in every store and  office building. We walked to the grocery store and didn’t climb into a  300-horsepower machine every time we had to go two blocks.
But she was right. We didn’t have the green thing in our day.
Back then, we washed the baby’s diapers because we didn’t have the  throw-away kind. We dried clothes on a line, not in an energy gobbling  machine burning up 220 volts — wind and solar power really did dry the  clothes. Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not  always brand-new clothing. But that old lady is right; we didn’t have the  green thing back in our day.
Back then, we had one TV, or radio, in the house — not a TV in every room.  And the TV had a small screen the size of a handkerchief (remember them?),  not a screen the size of the state of Montana..
In the kitchen, we blended and stirred by hand because we didn’t have  electric machines to do everything for us.
When we packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, we used a wadded up old  newspaper to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap.
Back then, we didn’t fire up an engine and burn gasoline just to cut the  lawn. We used a push mower that ran on human power. We exercised by working  so we didn’t need to go to a health club to run on treadmills that operate  on electricity.
But she’s right; we didn’t have the green thing back then.
Hell, we drank from a fountain when we were thirsty instead of using a cup or a  plastic bottle every time we had a drink of water.
We refilled writing pens with ink instead of buying a new pen, and we  replaced the razor blades in a razor instead of throwing away the whole  razor just because the blade got dull.
But we didn’t have the green thing back then.
Back then, people took the streetcar or a bus and kids rode their bikes to  school or walked instead of turning their moms into a 24-hour taxi service..
We had one electrical outlet in a room, not an entire bank of sockets to  power a dozen appliances. And we didn’t need a computerized gadget to  receive a signal beamed from satellites 2,000 miles out in space in order to  find the nearest pizza joint. 
But isn’t it sad the current generation laments how wasteful we old folks  were, just because we didn’t have the green thing back then ?!?

(Please forward this on to another selfish old person who needs a lesson in conservation from a clever young follower of the Green Church)

4 Comments leave one →
  1. August 24, 2011 5:16 pm

    hahaha OG!

  2. tadchem permalink
    August 26, 2011 3:09 pm

    I could write something similar about cardiovascular fitness, aerobics, BMIs, obesity, type-2 diabetes, asthma, autoimmune diseases, and old-fashioned ‘exercise.’


  1. Should be required reading | JunkScience Sidebar

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