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Mills Tries to Get Leg-up on Morgan as Pair Square-off Over Phone Hacking

August 4, 2011

By Robert Henry
Gonzo Town

Oh NO! Now we learn of THE SHOCK and THE HORROR of Perez Morphan telling, nay bragging to, poor and vulnerable, Miss Heaver Meows, while she and Sir Pole were still dating, that he had listened to her intimate voicemails.

Of how he’d (Perez) bullied and badgered the poor naive girl before publishing the final draft repeating his brags of hearing the (illegal – as it happened) recordings of her most private and personal messages. How his nasty, old and mean paper would not offer her anything for the purloined information. Not one penny – though she knew full-well how chequebook yellow journalism works … was it all bluff, thought up to ‘get the dirt’ or was it real?

NOT HAVING IT: Mills reignites her media career with attack on Piers Morgan phone hacking.

The diabolical perfidy of threatening to make it look like she was trying to sell her story about the new fling with Sir Pole to the papers, while the bastards that stole it refused to offer her anything caused much fretting and consternation! Grrrrrr! (A derisory offer was made, but she played her high-stakes poker hand brilliantly and dismissed whatever it was …).

That’s it! High gear it is. Thank you very much – it’s all or nothing.

BUT … OMFG! She could see it all coming unstuck before her very eyes! Sir Pole going totally ballistic when reading his private messages to her over his morning muesli! DAMN! DAMN! DAMN! To then be, suddenly and unceremoniously: blown, thrown and frozen out before she’d laid (pun intended) and sprung her own trap! Meaning how she had to ‘get her skates on’ so to speak, FAST and desperately move the agenda forward, in said high gear – hoping she wouldn’t ‘spook’ the ‘mark’.

Oh dear. What to do now? To call Sir Pole, tell him what Perez was getting up to and play innocent about it all? To remain silent (as if she could) and then pretend to be surprised when all hell breaks loose? No! Call Sir Pole now, immediately, and tell him she’s really scared stiff. Yes! Let Sir Pole call that little arrogant bastard’s bluff or, maybe – as being forewarned is being forearmed, do nothing at all.

The paper ran the piece, nothing much happened and (Guess wot?) nobody cared – eliciting a new emotional ‘state’, a combination betwixt irked and relief. OK. Perpetual frustration – what else is new? But … she’d bonded with Sir Pole over it all and moved in that much closer. ‘My hero’ ‘time’ complete with fluttering eyelashes and giving, litter-ally, her all. Ever closer. Inch by inch. Bit by bit. Day by day. Patience, patience and more patience … then … BINGO! PAYDIRT! Pregnancy! Alas the golden highway beckons – at last – and FUCK YOU PEREZ!

Indeed that miserable little bastard had, though unwittingly – we presume, played his part but … mamma’s back and she’s, apparently, still pissed off – still playing the ever-so-innocent; so hurt and wounded, poor, pitiable victim – to the hilt. Predictably getting close to going broke again, as they do, otherwise there’d be no point.

She’s got the high-profile needle out now – for guess whom?

MPs, smelling blood as they do, started demanding Perez cut short his ‘American tour’ to answer questions about how he managed to hear those hacked voicemails he’d glibly crowed about way back then. Some also remember how Perez trashed the only national anti-war daily in Blighty by publishing badly faked pictures of HM’s forces (NOT!) torturing Iraqi (NOT!) prisoner(s NOT!) in a (NOT military) truck and (NOT!) pissing on them. So – he got fired from his Editor’s gig ‘in disgrace’ to go from strength to strength in TV. Are the wheels finally coming off of his crappy tacky showbizzy wagon, with no redeeming qualities nor a logical reason to even exist?

It’s payback time of a different kind – boy. The question begs: What do Hevah and Perez have in common? Like ‘shameless soul mates’ to the core the answer is: Neither know when to quit.

Yep! She’s right there in our faces, AGAIN, all over BBC radio, TV and papers with, no doubt, her ‘Personal Appearance’ invoices already in the post plus receivables -fees, for re-broadcasts and residuals – of course.

Whatever else happens next is anyone’s guess at the moment but, Perez, one way or another it is ALL your bloody fault … and for that we are not prepared to forgive you. Ever!

 Witch-ever, er, watch this space.

5 Comments leave one →
  1. August 4, 2011 4:23 pm

    Robert Henry, you are truly a wicked man.

  2. Septic Skeptic permalink
    August 4, 2011 8:22 pm

    Come on Gonzo, maybe it’s known as irony, but – what with Amy and Tonee and Gordy all gone (for the time being) now – somebody had to ‘fill the vacuum’.

    But, but, did it have to be HER??? Life is definitely not fair and, as-easily-as-not, cruel.


    • August 5, 2011 1:24 am

      I blame everything on Robert Henry, a wicked, wicked man if there ever was one. Merciless…

  3. Innocent Bystander permalink
    August 5, 2011 7:03 am

    Looks like … shoot the messenger then?
    There’s got to be a lot more to this.
    Were ‘Heaver’ and ‘Perez’ ‘in league’ on the ‘sting’ – that’s resulted in this rather embarrassing ‘public’ spat?
    Did somebody ‘welsh on a deal’ – or wot?
    If so, who screwed whom, over what and how much?
    We await the, previously and much rumoured – graphic, YouTube VIDEOS with baited breath.

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