KENTUCKY FRIED OIL
Q: Can the Colonel stem the tide of Northern economic reform this time?
By A. Ceapach Donald
March 2, 2011
March the 1st news show watchers on prime time mass TV in civilized nations had a vintage spectacle to savour this week with the takeout pizza.
The same folks that slave to produce grainy TV interviews in trying conditions – deep in an Afghan mountain bunker with You Know Who – took the time to cobble a Saddam-style interview circa 1990 vintage with a stand-in actor for Libya’s KFM, ‘The Colonel’ set for posthumous stardom simply as ‘KFM’ : Kentucky Fried Muammar.
With the right and nice lady interviewer, and with (and without) his Ray-Ban specs, the Colonel laid down why he was only going to quit when his carbonized leftovers were nailed in a designer casket. Just to let the anxious viewers know all was under control, grainy vid sequences were flashed on screen to show the US 6th Fleet and its multiple smart missile launchers are moving around somewhere in the Med… real close. Libyan oil supplies will be back quite soon. Rejoice!
Colonel KFM showing typical brash Third World confidence naturally pretended he alone, with a few faithful Touaregs and a lot of petro dollars could thwart this return to sanity. Had he not imprisoned tens of thousands of persons for up to 6 years in designer caverns underground, built by innocent US contractors thinking it was only underground parking for the Ferrari fleet belonging to the Colonel’s sons, almost as deep and mysterious as those rented by YKW (You Know Who) from rack renting Pashtuns in the Hindu Kush? Even the lady interviewer seemed impressed…
YES INDEED – IT’S GLOBAL ECONOMIC WAR
Without Libya’s small but deeply appreciated oil supply of maybe 1.4 million barrels a day, average consumers have seen pump prices rack up, making it hard to buy that second or third pizza to take home for making the TV news show almost bearable. Feeding the cat with leftovers has gotten expensive and difficult. Times are getting tough.
At this stage in the economic cycle we really don’t need additional stress, so the Colonel has to go KFM just as soon as possible. Only the churlish wouldn’t agree. Our superiors who not only eat but also think for us, therefore deemed it necessary to generate what the Soviets, a long time ago, called agit-prop: agitate the masses with the right propaganda and the fools will believe anything. Not only that Colonel KFM still controls anything at all, but that Libya’s oil supply really matters. The problem is the high ground has shifted east for the moment: both the Iranian and Saudi Arabian dictators, and Ray-Ban bunkerboys elsewhere in the oil pumping world are thinking harder every day about rustling up the tanks to squash cellphone-wielding Flash Mob troublemakers in their Jasmine Places and Freedom Squares-China style, or Tiananmen style.
This movement could really spread East – and North. The warning is out to average corrupt bakchich peddlers in the chancellories and policy rooms of the ex-democratic North, as much as the pre-democratic South.
This spring’s Flash Mob slogan is clear: You need us to keep paying your excesses, but we don’t need either your corruption and stupidity, or you. This is global economic war… because the average front line trench living consumer has to keep moving on until ripped by the bullet: if the consumer turnsround and fires the other way this spells ‘Game Over’ for the filth.
Keep tuned for more developments but don’t expect to find on mainline mindwarp TV.
COPYRIGHT Ceapach Donald 2011