Skip to content

KENTUCKY FRIED OIL

March 3, 2011

Q: Can the Colonel stem the tide of Northern economic reform this time?


By A. Ceapach Donald
Gonzo Town
March 2, 2011

March the 1st news show watchers on prime time mass TV in civilized nations had a vintage spectacle to savour this week with the takeout pizza.

The same folks that slave to produce grainy TV interviews in trying conditions – deep in an Afghan mountain bunker with You Know Who – took the time to cobble a Saddam-style interview circa 1990 vintage with a stand-in actor for Libya’s KFM, ‘The Colonel’ set for posthumous stardom simply as ‘KFM’ : Kentucky Fried Muammar.

The Colonel has been forced to go KFM just as soon as possible.

With the right and nice lady interviewer, and with (and without) his Ray-Ban specs, the Colonel laid down why he was only going to quit when his carbonized leftovers were nailed in a designer casket. Just to let the anxious viewers know all was under control, grainy vid sequences were flashed on screen to show the US 6th Fleet and its multiple smart missile launchers are moving around somewhere in the Med… real close. Libyan oil supplies will be back quite soon. Rejoice!

Colonel KFM showing typical brash Third World confidence naturally pretended he alone, with a few faithful Touaregs and a lot of petro dollars could thwart this return to sanity. Had he not imprisoned tens of thousands of persons for up to 6 years in designer caverns underground, built by innocent US contractors thinking it was only underground parking for the Ferrari fleet belonging to the Colonel’s sons, almost as deep and mysterious as those rented by YKW (You Know Who) from rack renting Pashtuns in the Hindu Kush? Even the lady interviewer seemed impressed…

THE KUWAITI ECONOMY CAR: For years, petro-dollars have kept Enzo Ferrari's Italian institution out of Roman bankruptcy courts.

YES INDEED – IT’S GLOBAL ECONOMIC WAR

Without Libya’s small but deeply appreciated oil supply of maybe 1.4 million barrels a day, average consumers have seen pump prices rack up, making it hard to buy that second or third pizza to take home for making the TV news show almost bearable. Feeding the cat with leftovers has gotten expensive and difficult. Times are getting tough.

At this stage in the economic cycle we really don’t need additional stress, so the Colonel has to go KFM just as soon as possible. Only the churlish wouldn’t agree. Our superiors who not only eat but also think for us, therefore deemed it necessary to generate what the Soviets, a long time ago, called agit-prop: agitate the masses with the right propaganda and the fools will believe anything. Not only that Colonel KFM still controls anything at all, but that Libya’s oil supply really matters. The problem is the high ground has shifted east for the moment: both the Iranian and Saudi Arabian dictators, and Ray-Ban bunkerboys elsewhere in the oil pumping world are thinking harder every day about rustling up the tanks to squash cellphone-wielding Flash Mob troublemakers in their Jasmine Places and Freedom Squares-China style, or Tiananmen style.

This movement could really spread East – and North. The warning is out to average corrupt bakchich peddlers in the chancellories and policy rooms of the ex-democratic North, as much as the pre-democratic South.

This spring’s Flash Mob slogan is clear: You need us to keep paying your excesses, but we don’t need either your corruption and stupidity, or you. This is global economic war… because the average front line trench living consumer has to keep moving on until ripped by the bullet: if the consumer turnsround and fires the other way this spells ‘Game Over’ for the filth.

Keep tuned for more developments but don’t expect to find on mainline mindwarp TV.

-

COPYRIGHT Ceapach Donald 2011

-

About these ads
4 Comments leave one →
  1. Exposé permalink
    March 3, 2011 2:28 am

    OH DEARY ME!

    Not got the bottle nor troops to tangle with Iran … so enter good ole Gadfly – ARCH enemy of the SEVEN SISTERS FOR SOME 40 YEARS – far easier and far more, er, accessible and defenseless?

    Yup! A victory at any cost – so Tony Bliar, ‘the peace envoy’, and GB be fxcked.

    It’s foreign policy on fluoride, baby. Get used to it.

    Exposé

  2. March 3, 2011 5:10 am

    This is a good opportunity for Cameron to get his war on… a British ship and a few Harriers to do a rescue of the BP crews currently trapped in their 5 Star compound outside Tripoli…

    This could be a real Thatcher moment for old Dave!

  3. Cochise permalink
    March 6, 2011 1:04 pm

    Get with the program, it’s about water!

    Don’t you read my scribbles?

    Oil, hah

    • March 6, 2011 6:30 pm

      Sorry Cochise, just got back from a weekend of lawn bowling in Surrey with Dr Who’s life coach.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 30 other followers

%d bloggers like this: